Chaos in Kalos: The Ash Ketchum
by thisissupposedtobeblank
Summary: A trainer is on a master quest, and he wants the whole world to see - though he might want to watch where he's going. Look out, Kalos, because a rash idiot with a superiority complex is coming through, and no one is going to stop him from taking the League by storm - not even evil villains with bad fashion sense. But then there's girls… and repair costs…


On a normal sunny day, just like any normal day, a normal plane landed normally on a normal airfield.

But on this seemingly normal day, a rather abnormal young man stepped off the plain. Clad in a blue jacket, the young man grinned cockily upon his arrival, before adjusting a red cap atop his messy black hair and jumping forward, hands thrust out as if the boy was on a stage.

"Hello Kalos! The Amazing Ash Ketchum, Pallet Town's very own Pokemon prodigy, has deemed you worthy to behold his genius and awesomeness!"

His tiny partner of six years, days often spent taking on foes that no normal teenager would ever even consider standing before, screamed out his agreement - which, for a thirteen pound rodent, was impressively loud.

Unfortunately, no one in the vicinity even acknowledged the young trainer and his trustworthy Pikachu.

"What are you doing?"

No one, that is, but the rather cheerful young woman that brought the confident young man with her to her home country. Alexa was her name, and journalism was her game. She had met Ash while looking for a treasure on an island for her next big scoop - she hadn't realized that her big beat was going to be a kid bent on conquering one Pokemon League before his seventeenth birthday. The young columnist could only shake her head in amusement at her project's enthusiasm.

Ash, as any normal sixteen-year-old boy would, eyed his short-time traveling partner appreciatively. Sure, he had traveled with a number of attractive girls, but Alexa was the first to actually be fully developed. All the other girls were still growing, and while there was certainly quite a bit of potential in a number of them (particularly Dawn - a girl that young really shouldn't have had such an hourglass figure), the journalist had a body that would make most straight men swoon.

If only she didn't have such a distractingly terrible hairstyle…

"I'm introducing myself. Might as well do it now - in one year, everyone will be seeing my handsome face on every television screen in the country. Don't want to just suddenly appear out of the blue, now, would I?" A shadow passed over the slightly narcissistic boy, capturing his attention. "Hey look! A new Pok~ AHH!"

And with an unceremonious cry, Ash Ketchum, self-proclaimed genius and advertiser of his own awesomeness, fell down the airstair, inadvertently earning the spotlight he initially tried for.

"Are you okay?" The young journalist worriedly raced down, beaten only by the electric mouse, while her own Helioptile, one of the few electric types native in that region, perched on her shoulder. Her concern was quite natural - Ash had fallen down at least twenty steps.

But before she reached the bottom steps, the young man had shaken off the tumble, rubbing his head to soothe the bump that was even now forming. "Ah, yeah, I'm alright. Just got a little excited. By the way, what the hell are those things?" There, in the sky, were two rather odd-looking pink birds, whose beak color oddly matched the rest of their face.

"Oh, those? Those are Spritzee!"

"Spritzee? They look like flying pom-poms," muttered the boy to himself. Perhaps he should catch one and send it to his bluenette Coordinator friend - he fondly recalled her waving those balls of streamers in her cute cheerleader outf~ ugh, there he went again. Hormones: everybody's worst nightmare. Puberty had hit him like two Psychic attacks from rival Legendaries (believe him, he would know), and it was difficult to concentrate on his goals when cute girls followed him around on his adventures. But that wouldn't deter him this time! No, there was something more important than girls - specifically Pokemon! Like the fluffy pink pom-poms that would be perfect for a certain girl…

Yeah, there was no way he was going to keep one of those.

Brushing that aside, Ash turned his attention to what he had sought after originally - the Kalos League. "So, Alexa, where is that gym your sister leads? I want the gym leaders of Kalos to know who their next Pokemon Master will be as soon as possible."

His older companion chuckled at her younger friend's lack of modesty. "Well, Viola's gym isn't anywhere near. It's in Santalune City, which is southeast of where we are now: Lumiose City. You have to take Route 4 to get there."

Pikachu, always excited for a battle, moaned a little in dismay at the information. "Oi, Pikachu, why are you upset? I've already told you, you're not doing any battling for awhile!" At this, the electric mouse gave a shrill outcry, once again enraged at his trainer's decision. "Don't be like that! You've taken on legendaries, Pikachu. Le-gen-dar-ies. And you even managed to take a few down as well. And let's not forget the fact that you've been able to get past the electric immunity ground-types should have on you, which should be impossible." Ash nodded, figuring that was enough proof he needed. "No, you're way too powerful for beginning-level gym battles - come time when we've got seven or eight, and then I _might_ consider putting you… and even that might be stretching it a bit. Besides, I can't rely only on you. We've got other friends who want to prove themselves just as much as you do." There was a grumble from his best friend, but his starter, understanding what his beloved trainer was saying, was forced to accept it. That didn't mean he would do so willingly.

Their little private moment was interrupted by a cute giggle coming from Alexa. "You two are really made for each other, aren't you?" She aimed a wink at the pair, getting a slight blush from the boy, even though he knew it meant nothing. She was at least eight years older than him, and women in their mid-twenties were not interested in teenaged boys. Of course, there were bound to be a few exceptions, but those women usually found themselves unemployed and in jail. And despite the fact that she was both forgetful and clumsy, Ash was fairly certain that Alexa was smart enough not to do anything that would risk her job and put her behind bars. Desperate for anything that would calm the hormones, he focused on the journalist's hair… Yes, that worked well. He wondered whether she had ever figured out that her hairdo did wonders on repelling any interest from guys.

"A~Anyways, we were talking about y~your sister! Y~You said she lived south of here?"

"Yeah! Let me just get a hold of her. I'll meet you in the lobby!" The young brunette quickly scampered off, looking for a phone, much to the relief of the one she left behind. Finally, a breath of fresh air without the hint of perfume - though it pained him to realize he glanced at her round buttocks as she ran off. Ugh, this was getting to be horrible.

"It's a good thing that her hair reminds me of a freaking Lantern's angler. I'm having trouble enough talking as it is," mumbled the teenager, earning a few chuckles from his partner. "Yeah, yeah, laugh it up, fuzzball." Pikachu, indignant at the demeaning name as well as Ash's finger poking his red cheek, snapped at him in Pika-speak. "Movie? Copyrights? Nope, don't know what you're talking about, buddy."

Through his joking, the Master-in-training noticed an odd shaped shadow on the ground. Curious, he looked behind him, finding a silhouette of something perched atop the hangar, but he couldn't tell any details thanks to the sun shining just behind it. Squinting to see just what was standing there, he blinked when he felt a rush of wind sweep past him, spinning him around before he caught a glimpse of something tall and red. Without even hesitating, the red thing darted forward, leaving no trace that whatever it was had even been there, as well as an astounded trainer from Kanto and his beginning Pokemon.

"... Well, that was awesome," Ash whispered. Pikachu could only squeak in agreement.

* * *

"Oi, Alexa! I've got a question for you!"

The mousy-brown-haired woman turned to the young man she brought over, concern written on her face. "Oh, Ash! I just got off the phone with Viola… well, long story short, she's not going to be at her gym anytime soon."

"Really? Dammit," and here was where the hyperactive kid would start yelling about wanting a battle and whatno~ "... Oh, besides that, I just saw another new Pokemon, and this one was way cooler than those Sneezey or whatever."

The journalist blinked at her battle-loving friend's casual pass on her sister's news. She had expected him to at least be upset, if not throw a tantrum, but with his lack of worry, she wasn't able to offer him the apology she had already thought up. Perhaps it was for the best - Viola had said a number of times that her admissions always seemed a bit childish. "Uh… wait, are you talking about Spritzee?"

"Yeah, those weird flying pom-poms."

Alexa sweatdropped at that, though she had to admit, they did look like one of those balls of streamers often used for cheerleading. "So, what was this new Pokemon like?"

"Well, it was tall and red, and jumped from the top of a hangar, over me, and landed forty feet from where it started. Actually, I swear I've seen something like it before," explained the Champion wannabe, looking up as if he was trying to recall how the new Pokemon looked familiar. Giving up after a second, he shrugged. "You know anything like that, Alexa?"

"Sorry, I'm not really much of a Pokemon expert, so I can't really tell you unless I see it for myself." The Kalos native thought for a second before coming up with a decision. "Say, since Viola will probably be gone for awhile, you're going to need to waste some time here in Lumiose City. I happen to know that there's an expert here, and if there's anyone that would know what that mystery Pokemon was, then it'd be him. Whaddya say, do you wanna stop by and say hi?" Alexa bent down to get closer to eye-level with her younger friend, accidentally offering the hormonal teenager a decent angle of her modest cleavage. He quickly averted his gaze.

"Er, yeah, um… Wait! You're saying the region's Pokemon expert is actually here in Lumiose City?"

"Well, yeah. Where else would he be?"

"Honestly, I'm pretty sure this guy's the first I've met in a city this big. Usually they like to be in some out-in-the-middle-of-nowhere podunk town with lots of wildlife around them, like Professor Oak. Honestly, I find them as close to tree-huggers as you can get without the actual thing."

"Hoh, I guess I forgot about that." Alexa paused for a second, realizing the truth behind Ash's statement. The professors in almost all of the other regions really did call some small town in the country their home. "I guess you can say Professor Sycamore is quite a bit different than those other professors. For one, he's young, and handsome, and quite charming…" The journalist quickly adopted a very dreamy look on her face, surprising Ash quite a bit. He knew his first Kalosian friend rarely acted her age, but her behavior now was almost on the level of a schoolgirl.

"Errr… right. Anyways, where could I potentially meet the man of your dre~ I mean, the Professor? I seriously want to know all I can about that red Pokemon."

"Oh, I believe it's on South Boulevard! Come on, there's a map outside."

Ash hesitated upon hearing that, knowing full well that his ability to follow directions were … less than complimentary. But his pause went unnoticed by Alexa, who single-mindedly walked through the doors of the lobby and into the busy streets just outside. Her teenaged companion idly glanced at her rather round backside before shaking away the distraction. He seriously needed to get in control of those blasted hormones.

It didn't help that his mother also started mentioning her desire for grandchildren for some odd reason. That had seriously thrown him for a loop.

"Ah, here it is," remarked Alexa, startling the young trainer out of his ponderings, much to his secret gratitude. She pointed to a spot on the map that, according to the brightly flashing neon light marking where they were then, was clear across the city, which Ash idly noted was the biggest in the world. Well, that sucked. Trying to find the easiest way to get to the laboratory, he realized that the city was roughly circular, with what seemed like a prominent tourist attraction found directly in the middle.

"Hey Alexa, what's this?"

"Oh, that's Prism Tower, Lumiose City's pride and joy. It also doubles as the Pokemon Gym here."

That set a twitch on Ash's brow. "Alexa," he started calmly, a thin smile that seemed to scream out the opposite of happiness at his friend's statement, "did you just say that there's a gym here? In Lumiose City?"

"Err… yeah?"

"And you didn't mention this _before_?"

"Hehe. I forgot…"

The trainer and his starter sighed at the journalist's forgetfulness - seriously, how was this girl able to get a job that relied on a good memory? He was surprised she managed to not forget the interview that got her the job in the first place. "Whatever," he said, deciding it was best to just drop the subject. It wasn't like she purposefully didn't let him know about it.

The nervous chuckles escaping the older woman's lips slowly died as her mirthful look slowly morphed into a regretful one. "Well, Ash, this is it. I need to go get in touch with my editor."

"Oh, I guess it is." Fishing out his Holo Caster, the young trainer glanced up at his older companion hopefully.

"Heh? Only sixteen and already trying to get phone numbers from older women? You're quite the player, Ash."

"T~That's not it at all!" The boy from Pallet Town stammered, the coloring of his face disagreeing with him. "I~I just thought it'd be smart, after all. I mean, I'm your next big break, right? 'The Boy Who Would Be Champion'!"

"Ahhh, and here I thought I might have finally gotten someone to notice me," teased the journalist, enjoying seeing the newcomer's face brighten even more. "Well, maybe I'll leave a little reminder?" And quickly she sent her contact information into Ash's Holo Caster, complete with a little winking emoji. "See you later, tiger."

"Uh… yeah… bye…" murmured the young man, completely unlike his normal, confident self. Walking away from the young journalist who introduced him to this new land ripe with adventure, he silently berated himself for not being on his strongest guard. Women. They could easily make the most stubborn and prideful of men putty in their hands. And considering the number of forceful women he had met and traveled with throughout the Pokemon world, Ash should have learned this by now. How would he ever get a girlfriend if he fell apart so easily?

"What am I going to do, Pikachu?" The trainer asked, heading off in the direction of a tall, flashy tower. Perhaps checking out the gym could get his mind off of man's greatest weakness.

* * *

"Wow, so this is the Lumiose City Gym…"

Ash and Pikachu stared awestruck at Prism Tower. It had to be one of the craziest gyms they'd ever come across, and that included the volcano on Cinnabar Island. They could already tell, without being inside it, that this was definitely a state-of-the-art super-high-tech building.

"HAHAHA! Perfect! It's PERFECT, Pikachu! This gym is just the stage I need to prove my awesomeness to Kalos! This tower is my first step toward becoming the Kalos region Champion! HAHAHA!"

"Wait, your first?"

A new voice broke Ash out of his loud laughter, and he turned to see what mortal dared to disrupt his moment of triumph, even if he hadn't done anything yet. There, with flashing glasses, stood a boy roughly his age, with yellow blonde hair and a horrible-looking blue jumper, though the teenager from Kanto guessed there was some practicality with it. On his back was the largest rucksack he'd ever seen, and, for someone who looked as out of shape as the blonde guy, Ash wondered how this kid was still standing.

In all, if the self-proclaimed genius trainer could describe the blonde boy in one word, it would be pretty simple: nerd. The newbie just had that type of aura, as if he was only interested in science and inventions. Not that Ash had a problem with that, of course. He'd spent the past year with a guy who had an obsession with comparing everything to food. Ash could have sworn Cilan had had an orgasm or two while likening a battle-style to some weird Unovan delicacy. Compared to him, a nerd was positively normal.

Oh wait, he had left the new guy hanging. "Excuse me?"

"I asked if this was your first gym battle here in Kalos?"

"Uh, yeah…" Damn, now his entire groove was off. Scowling a little at being brought back down to Earth by the blonde guy, he continued. "I just arrived to Kalos from Kanto literally two hours ago, and want to test my strength here at the Lumiose Gym."

"What? From Kanto! That's like a million miles away!" Another voice spoke up, making Ash look down and finding a rather adorable little girl. The blonde hair tied to a sideways ponytail was a dead giveaway that this was the nerd's sister, though the trainer from Pallet idly noted that she seemed much more normal than her brother. It was probably the clothes - they seemed perfectly suited for a little girl and were quite cute on her.

Perfect! These two were the first people from Kalos who had gone out of their way to talk to him, so it was time to introduce himself. Drawing his breath in slowly, he stared at the two, before beginning what sounded like a low chant. "Through fiery desert and billowing storm, a lone adventurer journeys through the path of life to find his true destiny with his mighty partner Pikachu in tow. Born of humble origins, our hero and his trusted friend will clash against man and monster alike on their way through life's darkest times, brightening the future with their ever-flowing fountain of awesomeness! Be honored, mere mortals, for you are in the presence of badassery personified: Ash Ketchum, from Pallet Town!" To add to his introduction, the young man waved his hands in an exaggerated manner, Pikachu dancing in rhythm. It was truly an astounding performance~

"... Oniichan, this guy is a little weird."

~ that once again never got the admiration it deserved.

"Bonnie, it's not nice to say that out loud! Okay, so he was a little strange, but…"

"Ha! Oniichan admitted it as well!"

"Well, we've all got our differences in personalities. I am obsessed with science, and this Ash fellow seems like a narcissist."

"What's a narcissy?"

Okay, didn't these two understand the concept of keeping their opinions to themselves? They could seriously hurt someone's feelings if they kept this up - of course, Ash Ketchum, being the epitome of amazing, was as unaffected by their words as a Dark-type is to Psychic attacks, but… it was still annoying. "Er… not that I mind you completely bashing my fascinating introduction - because you may not say it, but I know that you were way impressed by it - but who are you? Oh, and a narcissist is someone who's completely full of themselves," added the sixteen-year-old from Pallet Town for the benefit of the little girl, who nodded a thank you.

"Ah! Sorry about that! My name is Clemont, and this is my sister, Bonnie!"

Without preamble, the little blonde girl waved hi, noticed the cute rodent resting on the foreign trainer's shoulder, and somehow grabbed the little guy, much to Ash's shock. Indeed, while Ash still recovered from his first Pokemon's sudden abduction, the girl, delighting in the darling little mouse, hugged Pikachu as tightly as possible.

She made the wrong choice.

"PI-KA-CHUUUU!"

"Bonnie! Are you alright?"

Despite having 100,000 volts course through her, the little girl just started laughing - Ash privately wondered if this was how nutjobs responded to electric shock therapy. Then, just as suddenly, the girl stopped, jumping up with a smile and a simple "I'm okay!"

It freaked the hell out of Ash, to be honest.

"Oh… sorry about that. I'm guessing Pikachu was just surprised?" Ash tried to comfort the electrocuted little girl at the same time as his starter offered Bonnie his apologies, scratching the back of his head.

Bonnie just laughed. "Oh, don't worry about it! It was Bonnie's fault after all! Besides, Oniichan's inventions always explode."

"Bonnie! Why do you always have to be so cruel?"

"It's true, Oniichan! Your science kind of sucks."

The entire scene between siblings was somewhat surreal, with Ash wondering who really was the older one. Sure, the boy was almost twice the size of the girl, who also called the boy "oniichan," but their mannerisms seemed to prove the exact opposite.

"Anyways," the foreigner spoke up, earning the attention of the two, "is there something wrong with entering the gym? You seemed somewhat panicked when I mentioned it the first time."

"Oh! Yeah, it's not a good idea to go in there," explained the blonde boy, though Ash found the answer completely lacking in any information.

"Um… why not?"

"Be~Because the gym leader is incredibly strong, and it's not good for a beginning trainer to battle him right off the bat!" Bonnie seemed awfully proud of her answer, which only made the trainer from Kanto all the more suspicious.

"... _Right_. Well, luckily I'm not a beginning trainer."

"... Huh?"

"What, did you two think I decided to start my own Pokemon journey on a completely different continent? I've been doing this gig for a good six years now."

"... Oh."

"So yeah, thanks for the warning, but I think I can handle it."

With a small smile and a nod goodbye, the self-stylized hero turned and began walking up to the gym, his chin held up high, confidence oozing out of him. Yes, this was one small step for man, one giant leap for Ash Ketc~ "WAIT!" His momentum was arrested slightly when the blonde guy grabbed his arm, trying to pull him away from the doors. His little sister jumped in front of him, pushing with all her might.

Considering the boy didn't work out at all and the girl must have weighed under fifty pounds, this didn't deter the determined young trainer at all.

"Oniichan! Are you even doing anything?"

"I'm trying, Bonnie!"

"Pull out one of your inventions! Maybe it's explosion will stop him!"

"I'm not going to do that! I've spent hours on my projects!"

Pikachu couldn't honestly help but laugh at the two's antics. Couldn't they figure out that Ash was the type to ignore all obstacles to get to his goal?

"Fine! Bonnie will get the job done!" The little girl stopped pushing and ran forward, enough so that she had a little breathing room between her and what was quickly becoming an irresistible force. Ash first wondered why she referred to herself in the third person, but that thought was quickly forgotten as the sight before him left the teenager slack-jawed.

"Yay! Bonnie did it!"

"Good job, Bonnie! I knew you could do i~ BONNIE, WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS AGAIN?"

Again?! The horrified yell was exactly what Ash was thinking, though there were a few expletives in his mind, too. After all, what ten-year-old girl would ever consider lifting up her skirt as a way to get guys to stop? And why did it seem like this was a common event?

"Stopping Ash."

"You stopped him! You stopped him! Now put that skirt down!"

The blonde girl chuckled at her brother's panic, who was busily trying to see if any other visitors had noticed his sisters act of exhibitionism. "Oniichan, you worry too much. No one here cares whether a little girl flashes her spats."

"How..." The foreigner muttered, though the two couldn't quite catch it.

"Yes?"

"How were you raised?!" The teenager asked incredulously.

That left the two blinking in unision. "Huh?"

"What kind of ten-year-old girl knowingly flashes a guy to get him to stop? And you," he continued, directing his comment to the older brother. "You acted like this happens all the time! Your parents must be sexual deviants to promote this behavior! HELP! THESE KIDS NEED HEL~" Ash tried to get the attention of passersby, but Clemont quickly covered his mouth.

"Wait! Please don't shout!"

"Well, he does have a point, Oniichan."

"Will you put down your skirt, Bonnie?!"

"Fine!" The girl puffed out her cheeks, grumbling in annoyance. Thankfully, she did proceed to cover her legs once more. "But Bonnie did get him to stop!"

"Yes, and thank you, but you really need~"

Just at that moment, a yell echoed throughout the plaza. Looking up, the three found a person flying through the air at a very fast pace.. Quickly calculating the trajectory of the poor soul, Clemont threw his rucksack, where it suddenly expanded in a giant balloon, big enough to catch a flying Snorlax. The two blonde siblings heaved a sigh when the flying person landed unharmed - which Ash found quite suspicious, again.

"Sooo, either of you want to tell me why some sap was shot out of that tower? And why you two seemed to be at the right place at the right time to easily save the guy from serious injury?"

"Er… that's a funny sorry…"

"Yeah, you know - been there, done that... "

"You know, you two suck at lying."

Both blondes crumbled at the young trainer's lack of belief. Finally, the glasses boy gave in and answered. "You can only battle the Lumiose City gym leader if you have at least four badges."

"... Huh?"

"Like Bonnie said, the gym leader is super strong!" The little girl piped in. "He doesn't accept anybody to battle unless they've proven themselves strong in the Kalos League."

"... So I can't make my dynamic entrance from this awesome tower?!" Ash was truly crestfallen to hear this. The two blondes watched as what had originally been a very confident individual slowly morphed into a complete shut down, his Pikachu trying to comfort him despite the disappointment showing in the little rodent's eyes as well. It was almost heart wrenching - which was weird, because the kid could easily just move onto a different gym and wait until he earned four badges. It seemed as if overconfidence wasn't Ash's weakness, but a lack of patience.

Still, the boy needed to be cheered up somehow. "... If it makes you feel any better, I've got a Pokemon you can battle against…"

"Pika!"

"A Pokemon?" The trainer from Pallet Town sniffled, shocking the two that he had actually been crying.

* * *

"So, are you going to use your Pikachu?" Clemont had succeeded in pulling Ash away from Prism Tower and had brought his lone Pokemon: Bunnelby. The little Normal-type was basically an un-cute version of Buneary, from what Ash could tell. The grey-and-brown rabbit had very prominent ears, just like Dawn's furry little companion. Unfortunately, this little guy's ears didn't end with the very soft fur - instead, they had three separate points on the tips, almost like some kind of gardening tool. Even though Ash doubted this would be too tough of a battle - Clemont had mentioned he had just recently caught it - the trainer from Pallet was still a bit wary; he still didn't know too much about this continent, and he had met quite a few Legendaries who had seemed harmless at first.

"No offense, but that little rodent wouldn't have a chance against Pikachu. And unfortunately, a simple street battle isn't the type of event I want to introduce Kalos to my starter's awesomeness with," boasted the raven-haired boy before pulling out one of the Pokeballs he had on hand. "So I think I'll go with… this little guy: Come on out, Scraggy!"

Out popped a rather odd-looking bipedal lizard-like Pokemon, clutching something around it's waist. On first thought people would think the scaly yellow creature was holding up a particularly baggy pair of pants - but what kind of Pokemon wears pants?

"... Crap…"

Ash chuckled after hearing that. Chances were high that Clemont could already tell that this was probably going to be a loss. At the very least, it confirmed what the foreigner had expected: Bunnelby was a Normal-type. Now usually Normal-types were fairly convenient early on in journeys thanks to having only one weakness: Fighting. Unfortunately for the boy with the glasses, it just so happened that Scraggy was the very type that could take advantage of that. It probably didn't help at all that the Shedding Pokemon didn't know a single move of its other typing, just one more thing that Ash was hoping to fix with his time here in Kalos.

With a flourished start from the little sister, the battle started. Scraggy immediately shot off his favorite move: Leer. Judging by the rabbit's small shiver, it worked. Clemont quickly ordered Bunnelby to dig into the ground, which would have generally been a good idea, especially since Ash's youngest Pokemon had a humorous tendency to Headbutt anybody who were on the receiving end of his glare. Indeed, just before the bipedal lizard could smash the rabbit with its gigantic forehead, the Normal-type was able to dive into the ground.

"Huh, who knew that ears could do that?"

"Haha! How do you like that? Those ears are Bunnelby's pride and joy! Now Bunnelby! Mud Shot!"

Suddenly the little rabbit shot out into the air, a glowing ball of light sprouting in between its ears. With a loud cry, many balls of mud shot toward the lizard, but to little avail. The dual-type shook off the attack, just looking a little dirtier.

"Wait… why does your Scraggy look happier?"

"Scraggy, use Hi Jump Kick!" Clemont grimaced upon hearing the announced attack - with Bunnelby still in the air, there was little that could be done to avoid that move. "Oh, and Scraggy is still a little kid, so he probably likes playing in the mud."

"Oh," mumbled the blonde boy as his Bunnelby smashed down to Earth, obviously hurt but still rearing to go. Seeing the yellow lizard try to follow up its kick with another Headbutt, the blonde quickly ordered his new partner to pull off a Double Team, filling the battlefield with multiple copies of the rabbit.

"Smart move, Clemont, but we can clear that easily. Scraggy, Focus Blast!" The Shredding Pokemon quickly raised his hands in the air, a blue ball of energy gathering in between them. Ash grinned when he noticed his opponent's confusion, which he could understand: the powerful move his youngest Pokemon was currently doing didn't exactly have the highest success rate at hitting its targets, which was compounded by Bunnelby's increased evasion.

Fortunately, it was virtually impossible to miss Scraggy's actual target.

"Now, smash it into the ground!"

With a small cry, the dual-type thrust his glowing ball of destruction down, eliciting a powerful little explosion. Dust enveloped the whole field, hiding the two Pokemon from view. The Kanto trainer grinned proudly - for such a little guy, his Scraggy could sure pack a wallop. Hell, that much power may have even knocked out the Bunnelby. Ash was just about to shout out his next order, when suddenly his best friend gave a cry, having dodged some sort of projectile.

A projectile thrown at his Pikachu… Ash wondered who would do something like that… for all of half a second.

"C'mon, seriously guys? I've been in Kalos for all of three hours!"

"Ash?" Clemont questioned once the dust cloud dissipated. "What are you talking about?"

"Hahahaha!"

When the blonde trainer looked up to see who was laughing, he found a blue-haired man and a maroon-haired woman posing in what might have been a dramatic fashion, with a Meowth standing in front of them. The two had matching uniforms, a red "R" featured prominently on their chests. Uniforms … mocking laughter… some kind of annoying relationship with Ash… Whoever those two bozos were, they were probably looking for trouble.

"Hey Ash, who are th~"

"DON'T SAY ANYTHING!"

"Who are we?"

"Led'em have it!"

"Prepare for trou~"

"Dammit! Pikachu, Thunderbolt!"

"Wha~" So surprised were the three of the sudden interruption that, by the time they realized they were about to be literally shocked, a bolt of lightning was already homing in on them. The blonde siblings were lucky to see a real life, on-the-spot light show before the force of the tiny mouse's electric attack exploded. With a painful scream, the three would-be-criminals were blasted far into the distance. Both Clemont and Bonnie stared after them, slack-jawed. There… there was no way those people could have survived that… Had the nice raven-haired trainer they had just met committed murder in front of them?

"Relax," motioned the boy, still in a huff of annoyance. "Those idiotic masochists are perfectly fine."

"... Fine?"

"They've been stalking me for six years already. This happens at least three times a week," explained Ash as casually as if he was talking about the weather. "You would have thought that all the negative reinforcement would have made something click in those tiny brains of theirs."

Clemont was almost afraid to ask, but this might prove to be a new discovery. For Science! "'This' meaning Pikachu shooting them off in the distance with a high-powered electric attack?"

"Usually, though all of my Pokemon have gotten their chance at letting Team Rocket play their role."

"Role?"

"You know, 'blasting off.'"

"... Oh…" The joke hadn't been that funny.

"Anyways," the trainer from Pallet Town began, turning to the ruins of what had been a nice little battlefield in the middle of the city, "I'm thinking I won."

Bunnelby was busy breathing hard. That Focus Blast had been powerful enough to leave most of the battlefield a crater, and the damage had taken its toll on the Digging Pokemon. Clemont conceded the truth. "Yeah, it looks like Bunnelby's had enough." He quickly pulled out the rabbit's Pokeball, pulling it inside with a soft whisper of gratitude. "If you don't mind, Ash, could we stop off at the nearby Professor's place? He could probably let my Pokemon heal."

"Huh? Oh yeah, of course." Pulling Scraggy into his own Pokeball, the foreigner accepted without any complaint. "I should probably get this little guy checked up on, too. Besides, there was something I wanted to talk to the Professor about, before I made the little detour to the gym."

Intrigued a bit, the two started walking southward~

"Onii-chan, what does 'masocrisy' mean?"

~ having almost forgotten about the little sister with the blonde side-tail.

Little did any of the three know, but their entire battle and the ensuing "struggle" had been spied upon by a pair of bright yellow eyes, now following every movement of the boy in the red baseball cap. With a small croak, the mysterious eyes flashed away.

* * *

"MOM!"

A middle-aged woman despite her youngish looks stood in her kitchen, sighing. It seemed as if her daughter once again didn't appreciate her wake-up call. It wasn't as if it was her fault - no, this was what happened every morning. She'd call up to get her daughter out of bed, the daughter would sleep through her attempts, and then an innocent little Fletchling would fly up and… prod the girl awake.

Honestly, after six years of this, the girl ought to have learnt by now.

"MOM!"

"In the kitchen like every morning, dear." Now she would come down, whine about the tiny little robin's repeated actions, and then whine about having to do more practice. Whine, whine, whine, whine… Sometimes she really wished she had taken some pills back in her glory days.

"Mom!" And now the compl~ "We're having grilled Fletchling for breakfast!"

That was definitely new. The mother wheeled around, wondering exactly what her daughter meant… when she noticed her little bird trapped in the girl's hands, unable to escape. The grin the girl sported seemed a little mad, worrying the older woman greatly.

"Serena, we're not going to eat Fletchlin~"

"No, grilled would take too long with all his feathers. Baked?"

"Honey?"

"I'd have to wait for the oven to get hot enough. How about boiled?"

"Er…"

"Water would take forever to boil… Same with the oil if I wanted to deep-fry it… I guess eating it raw is the only way to go…" Serena was now hyperventilating in her eagerness to finally be rid of several years worth of torturous mornings, all caused by the little red-and-blue terror clasped in her hands. No matter how hard it struggled, the girl was not going to let it go. Yes… in a few seconds… it would all… be over…

"That's enough, young lady!" With a solid whack of a ladle on her daughter's crown and the subsequent "Ow!", the mother was able to free her little bird from its imminent death. "Now hurry up, Serena. You've got practice."

"But moooommmm!"

"No buts. Remember, this was your choice."

Serena hung her head at that, but couldn't refute it because it was true. Every year her mother had asked her what she wanted to do, and every year she had chosen to stay home, knowing that Rhyhorn racing was first and foremost in an ex-racer's household. "Well, what was I supposed to say when I was ten years old? In what world does it seem wise for a ten-year-old girl to go out by herself and journey the continent?"

The older woman smirked, because those had been her exact thoughts when it came to Serena's tenth birthday. It had been a complete relief when her daughter explained that she hadn't wanted to go on her Pokemon journey - but ten-year-olds usually were working on the future careers by that age, so Serena had to do something to pass the time. Luckily, her mother had been quite the popular racer back in the days - surely her skills at racing had been inherited by her daughter!

"Come now, you want to make your mother proud, right?"

"Mom, you were only popular because Rhyhorn racing bras hadn't been invented by your time, and all of your fans were perverts who just wanted to watch your breasts bounce as you rode."

"H~how do you know that?!"

"'The boobs on our Grace go up and down, up and down, up and down!...'"

… NOOOOOO! That song… She had hoped that song would be buried when she had retired. To hear it again, and from her own daughter…

"'... all through the race!'"

"Why, Archeus? Why did she have to find out about _that_ during her rebellious stage?"

"Oh, Mom, quit being so dramatic," giggled her daughter. "I've known that since I was twelve."

"How?!"

"Through something called the Internet, duh."

"I~I wasn't popular just because of my sex appeal! I~I also won a few races!"

"And your boobs bounced when you jumped on the victory stage." Alas, even there she was beaten. It seemed her beloved little Serena had an answer to everything. "Face it, Mom. You were famous 'cause you were hot. You're still hot," mumbled the teenager, but not quietly enough for her mother to miss it.

"What's this about, Serena?"

"Mom, why don't you find somebody?" The girl burst out. Grace blinked in shock at the sudden question. "All the guys at school say that you're the hottest mom they know, and yet you're still here, acting like nothing's wrong."

"I'm the hottest mom?"

"Boys are dumb - they don't realize their voices can carry clear across the hall."

Grace wasn't sure if she should be flattered or not that she still had some fan~ admirers, especially among her daughter's age group, but that wasn't the issue here. "Um, sweetie, does these boys talking about me make you…"

"What?"

"... jealous?"

"What? No! Arceus no. All the guys at my school are idiots. I really don't care that they think you're a MILF. They wouldn't have a chance with you."

The mother wasn't sure what "MILF" meant, but some gut feeling made her feel like it wasn't worth asking. And apart from that, there really wasn't anything she said that sounded at all like a lie. It seemed Serena really didn't care that her mother was "hot stuff." But then, why was she so upset? "Is this about Ash?"

"Mom, we've been over this - Ash was a childhood crush! I'm so over that." Seeing her mother's disbelieving look, she rolled her eyes. "Arceus, do I have to say that I'm lesbian or something to make you realize this isn't about me?"

"You're a lesbian? Well, I mean, I can't say I've never, er, experimente~"

"What?! Mom, seriously? No! I mean, eww… Wait, seriously?"

"Never mind, dear, you were saying this wasn't about you?"

Serena eyed Grace, suspicious of the sudden change of topic, but relented. "I mean, I'm talking about you, Mom. Look at you - you're thirty-six, and you could probably have men half your age lining at the door, begging for a single chance with you. At school events, most of the other mothers have to swat their husbands after you walk by them!"

"Really?"

The teenager nodded. "You're a ten, Mom! Yet you still stay here all day, most of the day alone. I guess… I guess I just want you to be happy…"

Grace looked at her daughter, a small smile on her face. Serena's words had really been good to hear. It was always nice to be complimented on her looks, but it felt even better when her only daughter only wanted was best for her. If only~

"Nice try, sweetie. Now hurry up and eat that breakfast of yours. We're heading to the track in fifteen."

~ If only they weren't completely full of shit.

"What?! How'd you know?"

"A mother's intuition," smirked Grace. "That, and I know you still write 'Serena Ketchum' in all your notebooks."

"Mooouuuu," the girl groaned, her face a brilliant shade of red at being found out on that little detail. Finishing her orange juice, she started trudging up the stairs to her room when she suddenly stopped. Grace rose an eyebrow. "Mom, were you being serious about that whole 'experiment' thing?"

"... I'll be waiting in the car, dear."

"Mom? Wait! Mom!"

* * *

Professors were, in Ash Ketchum's experience, eccentric. Granted, this opinion may have been skewed from the day he began his journey. Having the world's leading researcher forget he needed four starter Pokemon instead of the three he originally had prepared for was a real eye-opener. Sure, it was later revealed that due to some wacky time-travel business Professor Samuel Oak knew from the beginning that the genius of Pallet's best friend was a little yellow rodent, and sure, he felt as if the man was a surrogate grandfather to him, but first impressions never really died.

It probably didn't help that Ash was fairly certain that the forgetful old man had a thing for his mom. Understandable, since good lucks obviously ran in the family, but it still was definitely weird.

Since then, Ash's less-than-favorable opinion of professors had always remained off, even if they were all normally very kind. There was always just one thing that set off alarm bells. One guy tried to play matchmaker with water- and electric-type Pokemon. He also failed to realize the two creatures he was trying to set up both had secondary types that probably negated the whole experiment, nor did he comprehend that such a union most likely would never end well for the aquatic organisms.

… His idea must have been too absurd, because Ash couldn't recall his name at all.

There was also a rather shapely and attractive researcher whom Brock had his eye on. Everything should have ended up perfectly, but he hadn't been surprised when it didn't. Ash had never gotten any details of what happened, but somehow Professor Ivy had traumatized his squinty-eyed Casanova-wannabe ex-traveling companion, enough to make him run away from her and curl up in the fetal position whenever her name was mentioned.

… Ash suspected the researcher liked to "experiment," which was probably too much for his old friend.

And then there was the old geezer who was fascinated with the Slowpoke evolution line.

… Enough said.

So no, there hadn't been a professor yet who had escaped from Ash's stereotyping at all. Until Kalos, that was.

Professor Sycamore was _that_ cool. His voice flowed like it was made of honey, and he had this calm nature that just screamed "I'm so awesome and I don't even care." And his hair! It was black and went off in all directions, just like Ash's! He was so cool, the teenager had been tempted to tell him that his Kanto counterpart was trying to hook up with his ex-wife. As awesome as Delia Ketchum was, the soon-to-be Master had to have inherited his absurd levels of masculinity from _someone_. This man was as good as any previous potential sperm donor he had ever seen. One of the researcher's assistants could easily have been the sexy teacher type of any teenager's fantasies, for crying out loud! The Pallet Town prodigy's hormonal pubescent brain could only imagine what went on behind locked doors.

Plus, wasn't that the story of some heroes? A long-lost boy, returning home to triumph over any and all competitors to meet his father in a teary-in-a-man-kind-of-way reunion? It sounded like the plotline of an epic poem!

But alas, this pillar of manliness most likely didn't donate half of his marvelous genetic code to help give birth to the King of Kalos that was to be Ash Ketchum, once he claimed his rightful place. Delia had never been to Kalos, from what he could tell, and he was pretty sure Professor Oak would have made some mention of Mega-Evolution by now had Sycamore made his way to Pallet.

"So, you're telling me that some Pokemon like that Garchomp can _further_ evolve?" the wunderkind asked, his eyes shining at the prospects while eyeing the land shark _smiling_ behind the professor. The smile seemed a little ominous… but that really didn't matter at the moment.

"Yes. It takes a certain level of trust between a trainer and his Pokemon, and it seems as though a stone is crucial to the process, but even fully evolved Pokemon lines like Garchomp here still have potential to grow."

"Then that means that Blaziken look-alike was most likely Mega-Blaziken?!" That. was. AWESOME! Did that mean some of his old Pokemon had the potential to get even stronger? A Mega-Kingler, perhaps? Or maybe a Mega-Muk! No, no, … MEGA-CHARIZARD! HAHAHA! He could imagine it now, riding on the back of some super-powered flying lizard into a stadium of loud, loyal fans, his unworthy foes shrinking back in fear of his awesomeness. Yes, thousands of adoring chants and screams, each voicing the name of his legend: "Ash! Ash! A~"

"~sh! Ash!"

"Huh? What?" mumbled the daydreamer, shaken awake by the blonde nerd he met earlier that day. Damn, and that had been such a good daydream too.

"You were saying something about a Blaziken?"

"Oh, that? Well, I happened to see something like that at the airport - it jumped like forty feet from a hangar and then sprinted away at insane speeds, but it looked like a Blaziken. One of my old" and cute, Ash randomly thought, which made him mentally curse his age again, "friends has one. Why?"

"Oh, it's just my father has a Blaziken, and since they're not that common, I'd assume he'd know if there were any others around here," explained Clemont.

"Couldn't he be that Mega-Blaziken's trainer?"

"Nah, he's too much of a goofball. He's the type who gets awfully nervous when there's a bunch of attention on him."

"Is that so?" the professor confirmed. "Well, I know one of the men helping me in my research has a Blaziken, but he should be up in Shalour City…"

Ash wheeled back on the professor. "Shalour City?" Once again his eyes sparkled. "Where is that? How far away? Can I meet this guy? Can he get me to Mega-evolve Charizard?"

"Hold on, there, Ash. I'm sure he could only help - rumor has it that he's the descendant of the first trainer to use Mega-Evolution, so if there's anyone who would know, it would be him. That being said," Sycamore stressed, probably because the anxious foreigner was about to explode with more questions, "Gurkinn is… well, he's basically a hermit… which is especially odd, considering his granddaughter is a very social girl. Anyways, I'm sure I could set up a favor for him to talk to you, but it may take some t~"

But just as he was about to continue, an explosion rocked the lab.

Ash simply stood there, waiting for the professor to continue. It was almost as if buildings blowing up was an everyday experience for him - which, in a way, it was.


End file.
